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  • Negative Thinking + Envy = Complaining About Others by Pat Gates
  • The Constant Complaining Tear-Her-Down-Build-Myself-Up Attitude by Pat Gates
  • How to be Useless and Miserable
  • Injustice Collectors
  • The Finer Thought (poem) by Edgar A. Guest


negative thinking + envy = complaining about others

If you're a regular reader of Our Hope, you know I don't view the expressions of pain, concern, sadness, etc. as complaining. How can we weep with those who weep if everyone is feelings are hidden? There is healing in expression for we build each other up and pray for one another.

You've also heard me say that trials cause us to focus on ourselves and that's absolutely natural because these trials DO require attention at times. However, trials can also tempt us to focus on ourselves too much and it is possible to turn into a complainer who constantly dwells on self and negative thinking and negative talking abounds. 

We also may be tempted with envy and when we allow a combination of negative thinking and envy to grow, it festers into the sin of complaining about others and usually this involves tearing others down in order to make us feel better about ourselves. This is a deceitful trick Satan plays on us and the following article can help us to see if we have fallen into the sin of constant negative thinking and complaining about others. 
-Pat

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“The people who live in a golden age usually go around complaining how yellow everything looks."

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THE CONSTANT COMPLAINING TEAR-HER-DOWN-BUILD-MYSELF-UP ATTITUDE...

  Thinks they have the real scoop on what's happening but in realty truth is covered up by how the complainer desires "truth" to be.
  Thinks others enjoy hearing their complaints as much as they enjoy telling them, but in reality, others are bored and tired of it.
  Thinks they have a right to complain, believing suffering deserves attention, but in reality, God has given no one a right to constant complaining.
  Thinks they are gaining friends because they are sharing deep, personal secrets, but in reality they are pushing others away.
  Thinks others who suffer understand their constant complaining and can empathize, but in reality, while there is a time for sharing pain, sufferers don't always want to hear negative talking and no one wants it continual. AND suffering does not equal an attitude of bitterness and envy. Most sufferers desire to think good of others and appreciate the blessings received from those who don't have ongoing suffering.
  Thinks they are doing good in warning others and are being admired for their extraordinary savvy and perception, but in reality, they are being looked on as untrustworthy and bitter.
  Thinks.... well, in reality, they don't think. They just pour forth their negative thoughts and the flood-gate is left wide open.

-Pat Gates

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HOW TO BE USELESS
AND MISERABLE
author unknown

1. Be self-centered, bestow all of your affection and care upon yourself; seek your own happiness and well-being to the point of unconcern for the needs of others.
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:4

2. Be demanding of others, tell yourself that others are obligated to you, that it is their duty to be concerned about and look after your best interest, and make no allowance for the least failure on their part to discharge this duty.
Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Rom. 15:1

3. Feel neglected and become absorbed in self-sympathy, convince yourself completely that others do not fulfill their obligations to you, and never allow the least doubt that you are a subject of misfortune and pity to enter your thoughts.
[Love] does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered. 1 Cor. 13:5

4. See only good in yourself and faults in others, for every attitude and act of unrighteousness on your part find an excuse to salve your conscience while demanding absolute perfection of others.
You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Matt. 7:5

5. Look for the ways to place others in a bad light and go around with a chip on your shoulder. Act like everyone else is out of step except you.
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. Prov. 28:13

6. Never smile and ignore others. When asked what is wrong just say “nothing.”
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. Gal. 5:22

7. Look for the worst possible spin on every situation and place a seed of doubt in others about the actions of those to whom you are jealous.
A worthless man digs up evil, While his words are like scorching fire. Prov. 16:27

8. Never talk to the person you have the problem with—always tell others how terrible this person is behaving.
A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends. Prov. 16:28

9. Observe these rules and you will attain to complete uselessness -- and perfect misery forever.


If, however, your aim is usefulness and happiness (as I trust that it is), then you must do the exact opposite. "It is more blessed to give than to receive," and selfishness is among man’s most soul-condemning blunders. Selfishness has no place in the heart or actions of God’s people.


God's commandments
aren't prefaced with,
"If you're in the mood."


For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.
Romans 12:3


“The human being who lives only for himself finally reaps nothing but unhappiness. Selfishness corrodes. Unselfishness ennobles, satisfies. Don't put off the joy derivable from doing helpful, kindly things for others.” 
B.C. Forbes

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INJUSTICE
COLLECTORS

Injustice collecting is a term psychologist use for the tendency to itemize every unfair knock we've ever suffered. It's a continual seeing self as always right which, in turn, is believing others always wrong. An injustice collector blames others for their problems which removes responsibility from them.

Characteristics of Injustice Collectors:

  1. Injustice Collectors are convinced that they are never wrong. How is it possible that they are never wrong? It is simple: They are always right.

  2. Injustice Collectors never apologize. Ever. For anything.

  3. Injustice Collectors truly believe that they are morally and ethically superior to others and that others chronically do not hold themselves to the same high standards as the injustice collector does.

  4. Injustice Collectors make the rules, break the rules and enforce the rules of the family. They are a combined legislator, police, and judge and jury of those they consider their loyal subjects.

  5. Injustice Collectors never worry about what is wrong with themselves as their "bad list" grows. Their focus is always on the failings of others.

  6. Injustice Collectors are never upset by the disparity of their rules for others with their own expectations of themselves.

  7. Injustice Collectors rationalize their own behavior with great ease and comfort.


from
www.psybersquare.com

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THE FINER THOUGHT

How fine it is at night to say:
"I have not wronged a soul to-day.
I have not by a word or deed,
In any breast sowed anger's seed,
Or caused a fellow being pain;
Nor is there on my crest a stain
That shame has left. In honor's way,
With head erect, I've lived this day."

When night slips down and day departs
And rest returns to weary hearts,
How fine it is to close the book
Of records for the day, and look
Once more along the traveled mile
And find that all has been worth while;
To say: "In honor I have toiled;
My plume is spotless and unsoiled."

Yet cold and stern a man may be
Retaining his integrity;
And he may pass from day to day
A spirit dead, in living clay,
Observing strictly morals, laws,
Yet serving but a selfish cause;
So it is not enough to say:
"I have not stooped to shame to-day!"

It is a finer, nobler thought
When day is done and night has brought
The contemplative hours and sweet,
And rest to weary hearts and feet,
If man can stand in truth and say:
"I have been useful here to-day.
Back there is one I chanced to see
With hope newborn because of me.

"This day in honor I have toiled;
My shining crest is still unsoiled;
But on the mile I leave behind
Is one who says that I was kind;
And someone hums a cheerful song
Because I chanced to come along."
Sweet rest at night that man shall own
Who has not lived his day alone.


Edgar A. Guest