|
ARCHIVES ARE LOCATED
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE
| |
I left this poem just the way it was written, because it seems to illustrate the loneliness and forlorn feelings I have
felt after losing a loved one. It brought tears to my eyes as I read it. However, the
second section illustrates the sun beginning to shine again, and the looking forward to being with that loved one in Heaven.
So be sure to read the whole thing. I only added some photographs sent to me by a good friend, which
seemed to fit the poem. Thanks be to our loving God who gives us hope of that glad reunion with those who
have gone on before us. Cindy When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and
through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee (Isaiah 43:2)
Weeping
may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)
|
. where would you go
that i cannot
follow?
for how long must i wait
until we meet again?
what would i do
in times that i miss you?
where
would i go
in times when i long to see you again?
how must i spend
the nights without you?
how do i bear
each morning that you’re not there?
shall i ever smile again?
will i ever laugh again?
will i ever face the world again
knowing that im not alone?
why must you leave me?
why must i cry these tears
when you’re not here
to wipe them all away?
why must i suffer
the empty days without my beloved?
why must i dream
without you by my side?
the days shall never be the same again
i will never be the same
again
without you
the life of my soul,
the joy of my heart,
the light in my eyes,
the hope of my
dreams,
the comfort of my lonely nights,
without you my beloved,
i grieve and cry,
i grope and stumble
in the dark,
i weep with all my soul
i desire with all my heart
i let go of all of me that you took away with
you
|
| Where is Mommy? |
i keep all of you that is in me,
and will always remain in me
wherever i may go
i wait
and pray and hope
i will look forward to each brand new day
thankful for all that i’ve had and will always
have
thankful for the sun that shines again
believing and hanging on
believing that life will go on
it
can’t help but go on
it shall go on
and in so going
there really is no end
only mornings and evenings
and life that never ever ends.
author unknown
|
| Without Mommy |
|
|
|
|
| |
But I do not want
you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.
For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep
in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and
remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend
from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And
the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together
with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore
comfort one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)
|
|
|
|
|
. FROM THE MAIL: Just
because you are an adult with small children of your own doesn't make your loss any less. just because the person who has
passed on is "just your grandma" doesn't make the pain or hurt less intense...it is just different. she may not
have been my mother but that doesn't make her any less missed or loved just because she was "just my grandma".
Cindy:
I think the term, "just a grandma" or "just a neighbor" is a cruel and thoughtless way
to respond to anyone who is obviously hurting inside. "Finally, all of you be of
one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted,
be courteous;" (1 Peter 3:8) Most people don't understand how losing someone - even a long time pet
- can hurt and change our lives. We should probably take that into account when they say something like, "It
was just your...."
FROM THE MAIL: Children's Grief:
Just a personal insight
on that topic (raised on one of your pages this month)... When my mother died, my dad, my little sister,
and I were overwhelmed with cleaning out the house (LOADS of medical supplies, etc.) and preparing for a funeral, guests,
etc. My nephew who was only 5 is a little obnoxious on a good day, and he acted just awful. While my dad and I
wanted to discipline him (or kill him!), my sister’s motherly intuition kicked in... She was able to talk with
him and he eventually told her that he didn’t think anyone else loved him. My mother thought he was fabulous and
from his perspective, that bond was gone, all of us were tired and crabby, focused on work, not acting especially sweet to
him — not recognizing that here was a 5 yr old boy grieving for his grandmother who really, really loved him. I
honestly think that he missed her more than any of us, except maybe my dad. You think a child that small will just forget,
but he and his twin sister still miss her and talk about her — going to Mamaw’s house is not the same
now, even though they love their Papaw. Bless their little hearts. Now their fat old auntie tries to be a little
kinder... Sonja
Cindy: Going through a loved
one's death is a very stressful experience and we sometimes have to use all our inner resources to cope on that first couple
of days or weeks. At least we understand what is happening but the children don't. The whole process is likely
to be frightening as well as painful for them. Joanne Beckley wrote an article which you will find in our archives from
2007 by clicking on http://ourhopeonline.com/id35.html Perhaps we can do
an additional page on children and grief in the future.
|
 |
|
Ladies, do you know that sharing your
sadness or loss not only helps you, it helps others who are hurting? Consider these losses. Are any of
these yours? - Death or Terminal illness of family member (spouse, child, parent, grandparent, sibling, niece or nephew).
Also death of a close friend, neighbor, or co-worker. All of these cause great sadness and sorrow.
- Loss of loved ones due to Suicide, Murder or Violent Accident.
- Paralysis due to accident or illness.
- Loss of a limb due
to Diabetes or Accident, or Crime.
- Loss of mobility, or inability to care for self due to Parkinson's, Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Stroke, etc.
- Grief over the loss of independence due to your illness:
Cancer, Alzheimer's, Aids, or any debilitating illness.
Any of
these things cause a sense of loss and sorrow. Even if you have never written an article before, you can simply
write a letter to us. Use the box below to
tell us about yourself and your own feelings of loss. Or simply write a letter to either of us: . Cindy at cgranke@yahoo.com Pat at ourhopeonline@gmail.com Tell
us how you are coping with your grief. Or tell us if you need to hear from others about particular feelings, and how
they are coping or have coped with similar situations.
|
|
|
|
WHAT WE WISH EVERYONE KNEW ABOUT LIVING WITH GRIEF
- It intensifies the desire to work more
dedicated for the Lord and for the wellbeing of your soul. Death is all of a sudden real, but so is heaven. Talk
to people who are close to the kingdom but did not do the most important step in this life. You never know when the
time-bomb on your back stops ticking
- Just because you are an adult with small children of your own doesn't make your loss any less. Just because the
person who has passed on is "just your grandma" doesn't make the pain or hurt less intense...it is just different.
She may not have been my mother but that doesn't make her any less missed or loved just because she was "just my
grandma".
- I think there
are an awful lot of brethren and an awful lot of churches who are going to have to answer for how they treat the widows in
their midst. My dear husband has been dead for 8 years and I still miss him every hour of every day and struggle spiritually
because of his loss of leadership. But no one has ever even asked me how I am doing spiritually or if there is anything they
can do. Church is not a place of comfort, its a place to miss that one person more painfully because you feel like no one
really cares. And one member in our congregation, as he made announcements, told the members to make sure they checked on
a young wife because her husband was out of town on business. Didn't seem to occur to him that her husband chose to be
gone, but mine didn't. And at least she could pick up the phone and talk to hers, I can't. But the widow is just supposed
to go on as if nothing has happened!!!
- I'm a widow and
live alone. Please invite me into your family to share in common things. Many people are very attentive at the
beginning, but the loneliness lasts and is sharper weeks and months longer. Call me. Suggest we get together.
Though I initiate contact with others, I sometimes feel like I'm horning in. Hug me. Put an arm around me
or rub my shouldrers. I have lost the human contact of my mate. Call on me for help. I need to feel needed.
Don't always put me with the girls. I long for male conversation (even just listening) at times. Sometimes
I grow weary of woman's talk and just want a male point of view. I have lost my balancer. My husband balanced
my way of thinking by helping me understand his thoughts on subjects. Invite me to sit with you at services or just
come sit by me. Mention something that you loved about my husband or just that you miss him. I don't want
to feel that everyone has forgotten him. Call me or write me a note on his birthday, our anniversary or the date
he died just to let me know you're thinking of me. Tell me that you know my husband would be proud of me for "doing
so well."
continued
→
|
-----v-----
- I am still learning to live without my beloved Husband of 52 years. I try
to keep busy. Otherwise, I find myself feeling sorry for my self and very lonely.
- Adult children who have lost parents are expected to be mature and in need of nothing. I lost my parents
25-30 years ago but some days it seems like yesterday. I find myself talking to them and realize they can not hear;
what a hole it leaves in one's heart. People greieve differently and some don't know how, after so many
years people think you should be passed it, gone and forgotten. Not so, until you lose someone, you can not know
how someone feels or how they should feel. No one to check on you - things that need done around the house
inside or out. Single women, widowed or whatever, we need attention; who do I ask for help that I am
comfortable talking to, and it not be ignored or talked about to others. Bushes need dug up and dirt to fill it
back up - especially single women who have little to no money to spend. Does anyone understand?
- I have another kind of grief. For 28 year I tried to make my marriage work. My husband
was loving at times, at others he was both abusive and a fornicator. I am free now, but so many of the comments above this
also describe my wishes... to be included, to be touched, to be needed.
|
|
ARCHIVES
- My Worst September
- What Can I Say When My Heart Is Breaking?
- Living With Loss During The Holidays
- Seasons Of The Soul.
- Understanding Grieving Mothers
- What Do I Do Now?
- What I've Learned from My Own Grief
- When Crisis Comes
- Stages of Grief
2007
- Being a Friend Indeed When You're the
One in Need
- Grief and Its
Energy Drain
- When the clouds
are lifted...(Poem)
- If Tomorrow
Doesn't Come
- Supporting
Children Living Through Grief
- Lovingly
Sabotaged
- Facing Loss Head
On
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
- Our Compassionate God
- Mourning the Loss of a Spouse
- A Lesson from Loss (One Year Later)
- Living with Loss During the Holidays
- Tips for Handling the Holidays
2008
- Finding Blessings in Our Loss
- Deb Griffin shares her loss and blessings
- Book review: Can Grief Be a Blessing?
- Helping Grandchildren Deal with Grief
- The
Widow in Our Midst
- How to Help Grieving People
- Crying Happy Tears (poem)
- A Trail of Tears (poem)
- It
Is Well With My Soul
- Playing it Where it Lies
- Losing a Friend
|
.
2009
- The
Amazing Attitude ofCody McCasland
- Capturing the Joy of the Holidays with Grieving Children
- How are the Dead Raised?
- God Lives Under The Bed
Grieving Our Pet's Death Finding Mental & Moral Strength - Gary Ogden The Root of Bitterness Go Home Again Treasure of Home On Hold or Hold On?
2010
The Return of Jesus as related in 1st Thess Do Not Neglect the Lessons You Learn in Your Sorrow Misguided Grief Never Alone (poem) Never Alone (hymn) Life's Unanswered Questions (poem) Thought on writing to relieve the pain of grief A Tribute to June Reinke by Ruth Miller
|
Photographs of Cygnets by Alan Scott
|
|
