Unfaithful Children/Spouse Archives 2008

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  • New Drug Dealers...Your Medicine Cabinet
  • My Child Was Lost, Now is Found by Joe R. Price
  • An Encouraging Note
  • Husband not what he appears to be (Response by Pat Gates)
  • Should church discipline be pursued by the wife of the "hypocritical husband"? by Pat Gates
  • Prepare Yourself for Your Child's Sake (preventing drug abuse) by Pat Gates
  • Drug Paraphernalia
  • Signs of Drug Abuse
  • Drug Specific Symptoms
  • The rain is like sin
  • Being a Kid in the '50s & '60s

NEW DRUG DEALERS...YOUR MEDICINE CABINET

Studies show that more teens abuse prescription drugs than any other illicit drug, except marijuana; more than cocaine, heroin, and methamphetamine combined. Every day, 2,500 kids age 12-17 abuse a prescription painkiller for the first time and more people are getting addicted to prescription drugs.

Teens are abusing prescription drugs because they are widely available, free or inexpensive, and they believe they are not as risky as street drugs. The majority of teens who abuse these products say they get them for free, usually from friends and relatives, and often without their knowledge. Because these drugs are so readily available, teens who otherwise wouldn’t touch street drugs might abuse prescription drugs.

• Seventy percent of people who abuse prescription pain relievers say they got them from friends or relatives. (NSDUH, 2007)
• Sixty-four percent of teens (12-17) who have abused pain relievers say they got them from friends or relatives, often without their knowledge. (NSDUH, 2007)

• Nearly half (46%) of teens say they got prescription pain relievers for free from a relative or friend. Eight percent say they bought pain relievers from a friend or relative, and another 10 percent say they took the drugs without asking. (NSDUH, 2007)

• About two-thirds (64%) of teenagers who have abused prescription stimulants report getting, buying, or stealing them from friends or relatives. (NSDUH, 2007)

• The majority of teens say they abuse prescription painkillers because they are not illegal (51%). They also believe there is less shame attached to using them (33%), and parents "don’t care as much if you get caught" (21%). (PATS, 2006)

• More than three in five teens say prescription pain relievers are easy to get from parents’ medicine cabinets; half of teens say they are easy to get through other people’s prescriptions; and more than half (52%) say prescription pain relievers are "available everywhere." The majority of teens (56%) agree that prescription drugs are easier to get than illicit drugs. (PATS, 2006)

More teens abuse prescription drugs than any illicit drug except marijuana.

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The majority of teens who abuse prescription drugs get them easily and for free, primarily from friends and relatives.

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Teens are also abusing some over-the-counter (OTC) cough and cold remedies to get high, which is especially troubling given teens’ easy access to these products.

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Many parents are not aware of teen prescription drug abuse. Teens say their parents are not discussing these dangers with them, even though research shows that parental disapproval is a powerful way to keep teens from using drugs.

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Parents are in a unique position to immediately reduce teen access to prescription drugs because they are found in the home.

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Teens are abusing prescription drugs because many believe the myth that these drugs provide a "safe" high and they are easily available.

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There has been a dramatic increase in the number of poisonings and even deaths associated with the abuse of prescription and OTC drugs.

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The prescription drugs most commonly abused by teens are painkillers, prescribed to treat pain; depressants, such as sleeping pills or anti-anxiety drugs; and stimulants, mainly prescribed to treat attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

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Some teens use prescription and OTC drugs with alcohol or other drugs, which could lead to dangerous drug interactions and other serious medical consequences.


Prescription drugs
that are most commonly abused include three classes: painkillers (opioids), depressants, and stimulants.

that are most commonly abused include three classes: painkillers (opioids), depressants, and stimulants.

Painkillers (opioids) are prescribed to alleviate pain, such as those drugs prescribed after surgery. These drugs are also referred to as narcotics, or prescription pain relievers. Examples include oxycodone (OxyContin), propoxyphene (Darvon), hydrocodone (Vicodin), hydromorphone (Dilaudid), and meperidine (Demerol).

Depressants slow normal brain function and are used to treat anxiety and sleep disorders. In higher doses, some depressants can become general anesthetics. Tranquilizers (benzodiazepines such as Valium and Xanax) and sedatives are examples of depressants, as are barbiturates (Amytal, Nembutal, Seconal, Phenobarbital).

Stimulants increase alertness, attention, and energy, which are accompanied by increases in blood pressure, heart rate, and respiration. Stimulants are prescribed to treat narcolepsy (a rare form of sleep disorder), attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and depression that has not responded to other treatments. Examples of prescription stimulants include amphetamines (Biphetamine, Dexedrine), and methylphenidate (Ritalin).

Some signs that your teen might be abusing prescription and/or over-the-counter (OTC) drugs include constricted pupils, slurred speech, or flushed skin. Parents should be alert to the following: personality changes, mood swings, irritability, excessive energy, sleepiness or avoiding sleep, sweating, loss of appetite, forgetfulness, or clumsiness.

Watch for signs around the house such as missing pills, unfamiliar pills, or empty cough and cold medicine bottles or packages. If your teen has a prescription, keep control of the bottle. Be alert to your teen running out of pills quickly, losing pills, or requesting refills.

Other signs might include secretiveness, loss of interest in personal appearance, borrowing money or having extra cash, skipping classes, or not doing well in school.

There are varying short- and long-term effects associated with different types of prescription and OTC drugs.

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My Child Was Lost and is Found
Joe R. Price

The news of the recovery of fifteen-year-old Elizabeth Smart from the clutches of her kidnapper a few days away brought joy to all who heard it. The news that she was alive was so unexpected and startling, that when I heard it my mouth literally dropped open in amazement. “They found her! Alive? Really?” It was unbelievable. We are truly happy for the safe return of Elizabeth to her family.

One striking thing that caught our attention throughout this terrible ordeal for the Smart family was the fact that they never gave up hope. They expected her to return, to be found alive and come back home. We admire their resolve even in the face of bleak circumstances.

It reminds us of the story of another child. He was not kidnapped; he freely left home. He was not threatened and manipulated; he chose his course of action. Although free to act, he became bound by a power greater than an abductor: sin. And, I believe it is safe to say that his father never gave up hope that one day he would return home.

Of course, we speak of the lost son in Jesus’ parable, Luke 15:11-32. Leaving the grace and blessings of his father, this son demanded his inheritance and traveled to a country far removed from home where he “wasted his possessions with prodigal (“wasteful,” jrp) living” (Lk. 15:13). Finally, “he came to himself” and returned to his father seeking mercy as a servant in his father’s house. Instead, the father, with great compassion and love, rejoiced and celebrated his return: his son “was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found” (Lk. 15:24).

If you are lost in sin you can go God and there find mercy and the joy of heavenly celebration. God has not given up on you. He has sent His Son to live and die, to arise from the dead and ascend to heaven. He has given us all a word of truth, which is able to save the soul. Through His gospel He calls you home. If you are lost, be found today. (1 Cor. 15:1-4; Rom. 5:6-11; 6:16-18; 1:16; Mk. 16:15-16).

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A very encouraging note I received. The emphasis in red were made by me. Thank you, sister, for your encouragment. -Pat

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I hope that this will give some encouragement to any woman with a husband who is not a Christian.  My husband was baptized 33 years after we married! Our 2 daughters and I have attended services faithfully throughout the years, and he has attended with us most of the time. I knew that he believed everything he read in the Bible, but I just couldn't get him to take that step. Finally, when he retired, he made the decision to be baptized. There sure were a lot of tears shed from a lot of people that evening when he walked down that aisle! He has devoted many hours in the past few years to help out whenever there is a need at our congregation. I think he wants to make up for lost time!  Don't give up or quit praying.  I have personally known several men who never attended services with their families when the children were growing up, but as they got older the influence of their families changed them, and they became faithful Christians. Stay strong and show by example how wonderful the Christian way of life is.  -anonymous

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"My husband is not what he appears to be.
Any advice?"
(Response from Pat Gates)


"My husband is a hypocrite. He attends services and projects the kind, Christian husband image he has built for himself for the public. At home though, he has let it be known he will not study or read  because he is a "good person" and does not need to improve. He makes threats when he doesn't get his way when he wants it because God's says he is the head of the family...and so on and so on.   Very twisted and manipulative, uses scripture to twist his way etc....He is very unapproachable.  I can not talk with him, no matter how respectfully, about anything he needs to examine about himself because he does nothing wrong; it is his "job" to be right, and everything is all my fault.

My concern is the impact it has on my kids.  They see the double standards, inconsistencies, selfcenteredness and have grown bitter toward him as privately as possible.  They work very hard at showing proper respect for him as God has commanded.  I really worry I will lose my son, spiritually, due to the anger and the lack of positive relationship with his father and the toll it will have on him.  Any advice?"   --anonymous

RESPONSE FROM PAT:

Thank you for writing. Before I begin with giving advice, I realize I don't know the whole situation and what you and your family are going through, but I'll try and respond the best I know how. Anytime I receive a letter like this I'm always aware I may give advice that doesn't necessarily apply to the writer's situation, so if I make any suggestions that either don't apply or you are already doing it, just keep in mind it's ignorance on my part.  Any of you who would like to give our sister any advice, please do so. This note did come in anonymously and I don't know who wrote it.

Your situation is a very difficult one. I have seen these personality traits in Christians (not just husbands) and I would imagine it takes a great deal of wisdom and self-control in your thoughts as well as your speech. I'm going to list some things that may be helpful to all in a similar situation; you may feel like you're not the one that should be making all the effort, and while that is true, you are the one who is seeking advice on how to help your children. In helping your children, you may have to do 100% of the work, without regret, because one parent giving their all is much more helpful to children than neither parent willing to work.

1. The first and foremost help your husband and your children need is for you to keep a close relationship with the Lord, in humbleness and complete submission and dependency on Him. This attitude will help you to begin the day with prayer for you and your family, pray for wisdom and with faith and knowledge of His word, and you will make better choices and endure in patience. "Patient in tribulation; continuing stedfastly in prayer;" (Rom. 12:12) 

2. As I already said, you have to make an agreement with yourself that you are willing to do 100% of the work to help your family, even if you feel you are the only one making the effort. "If it be possible, as much as in you lieth, be at peace with all men," (Rom. 12:18) If you aren't willing to do this, without bitterness, than your efforts will fail because they will end in frustration. If you make it your aim to give it your all, you are not alone, as the Lord sees, He knows, and He will strengthen. Eventually good will come from your work, but you may have to wait to see the fruit from your labor.

3. Let it go. It's best to not try and change your husband by pointing out what he needs to examine about himself. Husbands don't want their faults pointed out by their wives and often they will react in a defensive mode and will continue in their bad habits (or sins) and maybe even increase them, because they are not going to have their wives tell them what to do. Now I do recognize there may be some circumstances that may require talking to your husband, in a submissive manner, but overall it's best to remain silent and remember
1 Peter 3:1-2: "Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear."

4. Love your husband. Even when he acts in such a way that it is hard to like him, he is the one you made a covenant with, before God, "for better and for worse." Love his soul, pray for him, and do good to him. "Overcome evil with good," Rom. 12:21. Respect what good he does do and try and build that up in him. Even though he is being a hypocrite he is, at least, meeting with the saints and allowing his family to. It will take a great deal of self-control not to dwell constantly on his faults but work on looking for the good in him.

5. Close your mouth. I put that very bluntly because, to me, other than dwelling on his faults, that would be the most difficult exercise of all, but it is absolutely necessary. Not only for your marriage sake, but for the sake of your children, keep your mouth closed and do not roll your eyes or sigh in exasperation. "Bless them that persecute you; bless and curse not," Rom. 12:14. You don't need to point out to your husband and your children that you disagree with his action or speech. It is evident when your husband has said or done something wrong; he knows it and your children know it, but if you feel you need to point it out then you are placing a further wedge between you and your husband and your husband and your children. And a word of warning: Your displays of displeasure about your husband may backfire and as your children get older they may switch over to dad's side in defense of him.

I've seen wives who keep quiet and wives who don't. I've seen good results in marriages and in children when the wife would remain silent and not retailiate or try and change their husbands...sometimes it took years, but the end result was worth it. I've also seen wives who would make it clear, by either their speech or by rolling their eyes, that they continually disagreed with their husbands and thought they were foolish. These marriages, as well as the relationships with their children, always ended badly.

6. Be the example of a true, faithful, unhypocritical Christian. You may feel like it takes both parents to create a faithful, believing child and while I'm sure statistically speaking, the odds go up dramatically, it is still possible and very probable for a child to become and remain a faithful Christian if raised by one parent who lives and teaches God's commandments. Timothy is a great example, but I'm sure we all have seen this in other families where the father was unbelieving or hypocritical, yet the mother's influence and teaching led the child to a fruitful life in the service to the Lord. "Having been reminded of the unfeigned faith that is in thee; having dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois and in thy mother Eunice; and am persuaded, in thee, also," 2 Tim. 1:5.

In some cases a child may have to live with verbal abuse and being put down by their father and this makes for a very difficult situation and may have lasting scars on the child. This is when they need a mother's good example more than ever. They will need her praise and encouragement and they will need a mother with wisdom who will know how to build them up without tearing down their father.  Even in this scenario, a child can learn the truth and how to act in the way God would have them to, by the example of their mother.  If they live with a mother who feels free to verbally reprimand the father and put him down (even if he is at fault) the child will learn this attitude and will incorporate it in his/her own life; a mother's anger only increases the child's anger.

7. As you seem to be doing, keep teaching your children to respect and obey their father, in the Lord. For the rest of their lives they are going to meet and have to work with unreasonable people and the early teaching of reacting in the right manner to the wrong reaction from others will help them throughout their lives. God teaches respect and obedience to authorities, not only to righteous authorities, but to all. "Servants be in subjection to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward," 1 Peter 2:18.

8. Encourage and praise your husband. This is a toughy, especially if your husband never sees the wrong in himself, you may feel like he doesn't deserve praise and, besides, he gives himself enough praise as it is. The idea of praising your husband, I mean genuine praise, is for three reasons: (1) If you will practice this spiritual exercise it makes you look for the good in him; this will help you to respect him and will fight the battle of bitterness. (2) He needs reinforcement when he does indeed do good works and he will appreciate the fact you noticed. This builds up a healthy recognition in him of what is good and it will help him to know you still respect him. (3) It will teach your children to respect his good deeds as well and it will help them to see that you still respect and care for him. This is so important for the children to see this. If they see that you've given up on him and have no feelings but resentment they will eventually either give up as well and rebel, or may even begin to resent you. No, that doesn't seem fair, but believe me, there's a good chance that may happen. "In honor, preferring one another," Romans 12:10

9. Be in subjection to your husband. He's right, God has given him to be head of the house. No, God has not given him the right to abuse that position and he will stand accountable to God for that, but wives need to still remain in subjection even with unreasonable husbands, as long as they aren't disobeying God's law.

10. Get strength from your spiritual family. If you need to talk to someone, afterall there are times you may need help and comfort, only speak to someone who is wise, knowledgeable of God's will, who will not gossip, and who will not treat your husband badly to avenge you. If you find you are sharing your feelings with a woman who just wants to hear all the dirty details, without trying to strengthen you spiritually, and you find it just turns into a put-down-husbands conversation, then perhaps it's best to refrain from sharing your life with this woman.

I appreciate you sharing your concerns with us. My heart, and other reader's hearts, surely goes out to you. Some of the most difficult times in my life with some of my greatest temptations have been ones when I've had to deal with various personalities that don't take on responsibility, make excuses for themselves, and refuse to see the wrong in themselves. Often I failed to be that gentle woman of strength because I either failed to use self control in my thoughts or in my tongue, or both.

Finally, be ye all likeminded, compassionate, loving as brethren, tenderhearted, humbleminded: not rendering evil for evil, or reviling for reviling; but contrariwise blessing; for hereunto were ye called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For, He that would love life, And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips that they speak no guile: And let him turn away from evil, and do good; Let him seek peace, and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, And his ears unto their supplication: But the face of the Lord is upon them that do evil. And who is he that will harm you, if ye be zealous of that which is good? But even if ye should suffer for righteousness' sake, blessed are ye: and fear not their fear, neither be troubled; but sanctify in your hearts Christ as Lord: being ready always to give answer to every man that asketh you a reason concerning the hope that is in you, yet with meekness and fear: having a good conscience; that, wherein ye are spoken against, they may be put to shame who revile your good manner of life in Christ. For it is better, if the will of God should so will, that ye suffer for well-doing than for evil-doing. Because Christ also suffered for sins once, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God; being put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit. 1 Peter 3:8-18

I will put you and your family in my prayers. Please don't hesitate to write again and I do hope you don't take offense to what I said; I'm not blaming you, I just want to reinforce the armour you need to battle the temptations Satan is surely throwing at you.

To sum it all up, you are your children's best hope for them remaining faithful. You can not change your husband, he must change himself. However by your good example and remaining in silent submission, you may win him by your conduct and your children will learn from you. May God bless and strengthen you in your work ahead.

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Should church discipline be pursued
by the wife of the "hypocritical husband"?

Pat Gates

I received the following email in regards to the response I gave to the sister in last month's issue, "My husband is not what he appears to be. Any advice?" (Scroll down to view the article.)

Pat, there is some Biblical advice you neglected to give:  Matt 18.  A husband or wife who is living sinfully (dominating, yelling, provoking, refusing to study, etc.) is subject to the same confrontation and church discipline as anyone else. The spouse should confront them, then take witnesses, then take it before the church.

Thank you for writing. This has turned into an interesting study for me. I've come up with a rather long response, so please bear with me. --Pat

There are several relationships between people spoken of in the word of God: Husband/wife; Parent/child; brother/sister; spiritual brother/sister; Christian/unbelievers. God has given us instruction in our interaction in these different relationships, some instruction is the same in each case, while some differs according to our associations. There are obligations a wife has to a husband that she does not have to others, as well as a child to a parent, and these God-given commitments must be met. In all relationships God expects wisdom to be used. 

Let's look at the verses you mentioned in  Matthew 18:15-17: 

"Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if will not hear you, take with you one or two more that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church."

THE PASSAGE IN CONTEXT: In reading over the entire chapter of Matthew 18 we see Jesus answering a question put forth by some disciples (18:1), "Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" Jesus proceeds to answer that question by setting a child in the middle of them and explaining how they must have a child-like humbleness. They must act in a manner that would not cause one of these little ones to stumble. They must not despise these children, nor this humble attitude that is represented in this child.  He continues to explain that temptations will come and if they want to become great in the kingdom they must cast off those temptations. The Son of Man did not come to glorify man, but to save mankind in his lost state. In verses 12-14, he uses a shepherd seeking after one lost sheep as an example of the Father's desire that no "little one" should perish, further instructing us in the importance of a child-like, humble attitude. This attitude is displayed in the Lord, Himself, as Mark points out that as Jesus placed the child in the middle of them and had taken him in His arms, He said, "Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me, receives not Me but Him who sent Me," (Mark 9:37). Christ did not even seek His own glory.  

Jesus continues in answering the question, "Who is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?," in verses 15-17, as He says, "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother...etc." (see verses above in blue). What do these verses have to do with who is greatest in the kingdom of heaven? It's continuing with the thought of having a child-like humble attitude. Perhaps Jesus knew the heart of these disciples and their misuse of handling their relationship with their brethren and proceeded to discipline them, or maybe Jesus brought this up because He knows how difficult it is for man to have self-control and the right attitude when wronged by another. A child is a perfect example because if someone wrongs a child, whether it a fellow playmate or a parent, the child is so forgiving and seeks again the relationship he has with the individual.

If we read other verses related to Matthew 18:15-17, we can better understand how these verses are connected with having a humble attitude. In Deuteronomy 17:2-7, Israel was instructed to put someone to death for idol worship on the testimony of two or three witnesses, not on the testimony of one. And the one who first accuses the guilty of sin has to be the one to initiate the death penalty. This law made sure there were be no false accusers. It keeps a check on pride when anger can tempt a man with vengeance or tempt him to misjudge the one who wronged him.

In Deuteronomy 19:15-19, again the law mentions the mouth of two or three witnesses is needed to confirm a man's iniquity. If a false witness rises against a man then both men in the controversy shall stand before the priests and judges, then the false witness must be punished. Again this law keeps pride and vengeance in check.

So Jesus is telling His disciples that when they accuse someone of wrong they need to be sure their complaint is accurate, not based on emotion or vengeance, and their accusation needs to be with the right attitude that it is for the good of the individual, "If he hears you, you have gained your brother."

LAW AND WISDOM WORKING TOGETHER IN THE DECISION OF USING MATTHEW 18:

There is law and there is wisdom; these are not contrary to one another, but rather are to be used together. The use of law with experience gains wisdom that enables discretion to be used. "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom...the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace," James 3:13,17-18.

An example of wisdom and law being used together is the fact of eating of meat. Eating meat offered to idols is lawful for a Christian because a Christian understands the idol is nothing and the meat is just food to be consumed. However, if eating the meat causes one who is weak in the faith to stumble, then the "meekness of wisdom" will prohibit the eating of the meat (1 Corinthians 8:4-13). Law and wisdom are not contrary to one another, but rather they are to be used together for the good of all.

In the case of the wife using the law of Matthew 18:15-17, she will need to use God's wisdom in whether or not she will take advantage of this law or the law and wisdom given specifically to wives of husband who do not obey the Word. I'll discuss this further in the next section. 

If  the wife with the "hypocritical husband" chooses to use Matthew 18:15-17 in her response to her husband's actions, she must have the right attitude; an attitude of having child-like humbleness. She must confront her husband with desire to help "gain him," and she needs to be sure her accusations are absolutely correct, not in any way colored by anger or vengeance. She will also need to be prepared for the negative situation that will most likely occur in this situation.

If the wife is prepared to bring accusation, will she be prepared for the possible consequences?

1) Will she be prepared for her shortcomings/sins to be exposed? Proverbs 25:8-10 states, "Do not go hastily to court; for what will you do in the end, when your neighbor has put you to shame? Debate your case with your neighbor himself, and do not disclose the secret to another; Lest he who hears it expose your shame, and your reputation be ruined."  Will her indictment of her husband, indict her? Will the wrong she has done be brought up by her husband? Is she prepared for her faults to be laid open for all to see as her husband, in defense, brings out her shortcomings and possible sins? Because the husband gives an appearance of righteousness to the church, the burden of proof that he is contrary to what they see on Sundays, falls on the wife. Often what goes on in the privacy of a home is not easily proven when it is hidden from the view of others

2) Is the wife prepared for her husband's response to her accusation and bringing the church into this? "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprover to an obedient ear," Proverbs 25:11-12. Right words at the right time are invaluable. Will "words fitly spoken" always bring the accused to their spiritual senses? Not if they are a scoffer: "He who reproves a scoffer gets shame for himself, and he who rebukes a wicked man gets himself a blemish. Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you," Proverbs 9:7-8. Is the husband a scoffer? What will be the outcome when a wife reproves her scoffer husband? Will he hate her? Is the wife ready to take that chance, especially when she has seen, many times in the past, that her husband refuses to be corrected?

(3) How can she prepare for the last statement? "If he refuses to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. What would that mean for the wife? Is she to withdraw from him? Is she not to keep company with him and not even to eat with him? (1 Corinthians 5:11).

As I said to begin with, a wife has responsibilities to her husband unlike that of brothers and sisters in Christ:

Matthew 19:5-9 "A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh...therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate... whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." A wife can not separate from her husband in a state of withdrawal. If the husband's sin is apparent to the church and if the church decides they must withdraw from the husband, the wife should support the church's decision without prejudice, however, she still has responsibilities given by God that she needs to keep in regards to her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5, "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."  Again, here is a responsibility given by God that is for the marital relationship only.

Titus 2:4-5, "That they [older women] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." This command is not just for well-behaved, wise Christian husbands, but for all wives married to all types of personalities

* 1 Peter 3:1-2 Being won by the conduct of the wife

Wives are told in 1 Peter 3:1-2 how to deal with husbands who are not obeying the Word, "You wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct, accompanied by fear." This verse is direction for the way wives are to teach their husbands: Not by word, but by their conduct. While it may indeed be all right for a wife to discuss a problem with her husband, submission, meekness and a gentle spirit, respect, and wisdom must always be used. (I do feel the sting of my own weakness in this area.)

Wives are to be submissive to their husbands, whether they are obeying God's word or not.
Wives are to teach their husbands by their chaste, fearful conduct (respect of God, as well as God-ordained respect of her husband). Men do not like to be taught by their wives, preached to, nor faults pointed out. God gives women wisdom in how to handle their husbands who do not obey the word: Teach by chaste, fearful conduct. Herein is the combination of law and wisdom.
Wives are not to be overly concerned with their outside appearance, but with the hidden person of the heart, with a gentle and quiet spirit. "For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah, obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror," 1 Peter 3:3-6. Sarah, who did have a believing husband is our example of being in submission to our husbands, using respect, doing good and not being fearful, as she is trusting in God and His direction.

That very important word, "likewise":


Notice how 1 Peter 3:1 begins with he word is "likewise." This word means "in like manner" or "in the same way" wives be in submission to your own husbands. "In the same way" as what? What is the wife to be like in submission to her husband? We must go back into the last part of 1 Peter 2 to find the answer.

1 Peter 2:13: "Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake..." Goes on to speak of obeying our government, honoring all etc...

and 1 Peter 2:18-25:

Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps
       " Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth"; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

"Likewise, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands..." We are called to be like Christ, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten." We are to be submissive to our husband even as a servant is to submissive to masters who are not only good and gentle, but also to the harsh. God knows there are harsh husbands out there, He knows there are some who do not obey the Word, and in His wisdom he tells wives to be gentle, submissive, having conduct that emulates Christ for the saving of the husband's soul, as well as her own. 

Is any of this fair? Why should the woman carry the burden? God's laws are always fair and both husband and wife carries the weight of making their marriage work according to God's plan (how much lighter that weight becomes when the husband and wife are obeying God!). God gives responsibilities to the husbands and holds them accountable if they do not love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it (Eph. 5:25) and to love their wives as their own bodies (Eph. 5:28).  However, even if the husband does not love his wife as God directs, the wife is to be submissive and obey her husband, in the Lord.

I asked a friend of mine about his thoughts on the wife practicing Matthew 18 in regards to her husband and he said the following: (Keep in mind this is a preacher who I know is faithful in all things and has no problem with obeying God's commands on discipline.)

       
"Care should be taken to avoid seeming to advise others to resort to the arm-twisting approach.  Seems to me that, if the original sister's situation is not already intolerable, without great care, bringing the matter to the attention of other brethren is more likely to harden her husband's heart, make the situation worse, and possibly even destroy the marriage, than it is to bring her husband to repentance.  
        
When there is more than one tool on the rack, God's workman must exercise care in selecting the right one for the task at hand.  Does this job call for a sledgehammer, or a tack hammer?  The motto of a wise physician is, "First, do no harm."

I don't want to finish this response with the impression that I believe a wife should never, in any circumstance, bring her husband's sin up to the elders or any brother or sister in Christ. I was responding to what I believe would be the best thing in regards to what I know of this specific case. There could be much more to this situation than was told.

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Prepare Yourself for Your Child's Sake
Pat Gates

My heart goes out to any family who has a child involved with drugs. It happens not only in families where discipline and love is lacking, but it also happens in faithful Christian homes where the children were raised in truth, discipline and love. The temptation of drugs may be peer pressure, an act of independence (going about that in the wrong way of course) or just plain curiosity with full intention of just trying it once.

Parents, in general, are often ignorant of drug use in their child, but Christian parents may be more so because they take for granted their child knows better and would never be involved in the drug scene. Do your child a favor and don't blind yourself to the temptation he/she faces daily - peer pressure. Be prepared and be on guard against this terrible enemy -- drug abuse.

(Grandma's, this is for you as well - especially those of you who have a lot of contact with your grandchildren.)

Tips to help prevent and to help stop drug abuse in your children:

It's not fair to your child for you to be naive. Just because you are raising your child in a godly home doesn't mean your child can't be tempted. Too many Christian parents have the idea their child knows the truth about drugs and they don't need to worry about them, therefore the parents are not warning their children about drugs. Don't wait until their teenage years, teach them as soon as they are old enough to understand drug abuse as there are elementary kids doing drugs and "huffing." Your young child may not associate taking a whiff of a chemical or taking one tiny little pill with drug abuse and therefore they may believe it's harmless and not a sin.  Don't take for granted your child understands what drug abuse is. Don't be naive and believe your child won't be tempted; peer pressure is a tool Satan uses against good children who otherwise have no interest in doing drugs.

Educate yourself on drugs, drug paraphernalia, and the signs of drug abuse.  Teenagers believe their parents, in general, aren't too smart about the ways of the world, and that creates confidence that their parents would never recognize they are abusing drugs. Educate yourself and let your children know you aren't going to be ignorant. Create some good, healthy fear in them.

On the other hand, after your education, don't be so paranoid that with every mood swing you think your child is on drugs and you accuse him/her of such, after all they are teenagers. Just try your best to keep your eyes open with wisdom and patience. It isn't easy; mistakes will probably be made as there isn't a parent alive that hasn't made a mistake or two. Just try your best, in wisdom and patience.

Remember, the "drug scene" is all around them. It is not just in a club or dark alley, it's the school, the mall, and maybe even at the best friend's house that you've known since he was a baby. When I was young one of my cousins got hooked on drugs at a friend's house who lived next door to him. My uncle and aunt were good, faithful Christians,  but they were ignorant of the fact that the drug scene, in their son's case, was right next door.

Teach your child not only the dangers of drug abuse, but that it is a sin. Don't take for granted your child knows the danger and they will refuse them on that reasoning alone. "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child." Your child also needs to understand drug abuse is a sin before God.

Raise your child in truth and love. Be consistent in your meeting with the saints on the Lord's day, Wednesday nights, etc. Associate with Christians. Have home Bible studies with your child. Listen to them and give them respect; help build their confidence to say "no" to temptation. Hug them and always make sure they know you love them and that they are important to you.

Warn your child that you will not put up with drug use. Make sure they understand a stiff punishment will follow drug abuse, even if it is their first time... especially if it's the first time. Be consistent in all areas of their life, or they will know this is just more empty talk. Fear is a good deterrent. Be patient and loving when you talk to them, but be firm and unyielding when it comes to the danger and the sin of drug use. And be sure the punishment is such that they will be afraid to use drugs again. I'm not talking a severe beating or anything that maybe going overboard, but they must know the seriousness of what they have done. This is true with alcohol and smoking, as well. Smoking is terribly addicting and very difficult to stop. In fact, I know an ex-drug user who is also an ex-smoker, who said it was easier for him to stop the drugs than to stop the smoking.

Be loving, but tough. Be tough, but loving. Have your eyes open in regards to your child's friends, their behavior, and what you may find in the house or what is missing. Kids are smart and they can play their parents, especially when they think their parent is naive on the ways of the world. And don't think your child can't lie or deceive (in their mind not telling all the truth is OK, it's not really a lie.) If your child is involved in drugs already, then they are involved in lying. Drug users are expert liars and that means your child as well. You need to dismiss the notion that you have always been able to tell when your child was lying - this is no longer true when they are on drugs. It's not that the drug itself gives them the power to deceive, but lying becomes such a habit with drug use that their conscience becomes seared; this enables them to lie without blinking an eye.

Check on them and don't allow too much freedom because they are "so mature" and "trustworthy" that  you don't need to know what they are doing in their spare time. Little Johnny who your son  grew up in the neighborhood with and was such a sweet little boy may now be on drugs and is after your son to try it. You may not recognize drug use in Johnny and he will talk to you like he always has, sweet and innocent. Set boundaries with your child and make sure your rules are followed. You do not need, nor should you, trust him/her 100%. Do you trust yourself 100% to always do the right thing or do you understand you can be tempted with whatever your weakness is? Don't apologize to your child when she says to you in that accusing voice, "You don't trust me?!" With confidence say, "No, I don't trust anyone, including myself, 100%. That's exactly why God tells us to be watchful and to examine ourselves. I don't trust us because I don't trust Satan."

No, you did not give your child his own room so that it can be a monastery where no one may enter and he can set his own rules. In fact, you did not GIVE your child his room at all... it is your's, he is just staying in it. He is suppose to live in it according to YOUR rules. Come on, don't be naive and fall for that, "You invaded my privacy" bit. If you have reason to believe he is going against your rules, by all means, invade. You may save his life.

Your child's room is your property that you are legally responsible for. As long as your child, whether a minor or an adult, is living on your property they have no privacy rights when it comes to drugs. If the child is an adult, they either adhere to your rules, or they leave.

In conclusion: Be fair, be patient, be loving, be nice, be respectful, but be the parent your children needs; be the parent who is firm, knowledgeable, consistent, the authority, and the disciplinarian. Your child needs to be able to tell their friend, "My mom will 'kill me', if I do that." Yes, it would be great for all our children to say, "No, I won't do drugs because it is a sin against God and I don't want to displease Him." Perhaps some of you have a child like this, but many do not and to save face with their friends, it is always easier to blame their hesitance on their parents and how "uncool" they are and the consequences if they ever found out. They need to understand that, indeed, there will be bad consequences and to have that good healthy fear in them.

Your child needs to be afraid of the drugs themselves and with education and warning, from a young age, this knowledge can help your child to resist. Don't depend on the schools to teach them - this is your responsibility. Teach them self-confidence to say "no" to drugs. Don't ignore the world of drugs as if it didn't exist; remember, the temptation is around them almost every day of their lives.

Your child also needs to KNOW they are loved by you and that you respect them. Be available to them when they want to share their joys as well as their sorrows. And, most of all, be sure they KNOW they are loved by God and can go to Him for strength and guidance.

The battle against drugs can be won if you as a parent prepare armour for yourself and your child - always being vigilant and watchful for this dangerous enemy.

 


Keep your eyes open. Kids on drugs are dumb. They do stupid things and they forget. They can leave drug paraphernalia out in the open or left in their pockets. They also believe every parent is stupid so don't be caught being naive. Learn what the parphernalia looks like -- "store-bought" as well as homemade. Kids on drugs will say dumb things and if you listen carefully, you will hear clues of their drug use. Kids on drugs will do dumb things, mostly because they become so apathetic about living a normal, decent life, you will see clues in their daily activity.

 

 


Know that drug users are excellent liars. Yes, I'm talking about all drug users - even your child that is abusing drugs. I'm not saying this to be cruel - I'm saying it so you won't be ignorant. Your child does not need you to trust him/her 100% - he/she needs a parent who is aware. If your child has recently quit doing drugs, now is not the time to let down your guard and believe every word. They do not need you to trust them at this point - they need you to be suspicious and to be aware. Let them know you are still watching them, not because you don't believe they can't overcome, but because the temptation is going to be put in front of them by Satan and you want to be a help and strength to them as they go through the healing process. If they get angry at you for not believing every word they say, ask them if they fully trust themselves at this point, or are they having to be extra watchful and careful.  If they say they do trust themselves 100%, they may think they are telling the truth, but in reality, for a while they are living on the precipice of the drug world.

 


SOME MORE ADVICE
FOR PARENTS:

Get Educated
First, learn as much as you can. Use the internet, it is full of information.

Have The Talk — Let Them Know You Know
The next thing you can do is sit down and talk with your child. Be sure to have the conversation when you are all calm and have plenty of time. This isn’t an easy task—your feelings may range from anger to guilt that you have “failed” because your kid is using drugs. This isn’t true—by staying involved you can help his/her stop using and make choices that will make a positive difference in his/her life.

Be Specific About Your Concerns
Tell your child what you see and how you feel about it. Be specific about the things you have observed that cause concern. Make it known if you found drug paraphernalia (or empty bottles or cans). Explain exactly how his/her behavior or appearance (bloodshot eyes, different clothing) has changed and why that worries you. Tell his/her that drug and alcohol use is dangerous and it’s your job to keep his/her away from things that put his/her in danger.

Don’t Make Excuses
Although it’s natural for parents to make excuses for their child, you’re not helping him/her if you make excuses when he/she misses school or family functions when you suspect something else is at play. Take the next step: Talk to your child and get more information.

Try to Remain Calm and Connect With Him/Her
Have this discussion without getting mad or accusing your child of being stupid or bad or an embarrassment to the family. Be firm but loving with your tone and try not to get hooked into an argument. Knowing that kids are naturally private about their lives, try to find out what’s going on in your child’s life. Try not to make the discussion an inquisition; simply try to connect with your teen and find out why he/she may be making bad choices. Find out if friends or others offered your child drugs at a party or school. Did he/she try it just out of curiosity, or did he/she use marijuana or alcohol for some other reason? That alone will be a signal to your child that you care and that you are going to be the parent exercising your

  • You LOVE him/her, and you are worried that he/she might be using drugs or alcohol;
  • You KNOW that drugs may seem like the thing to do, but doing drugs can have serious consequences;
  • It makes you FEEL worried and concerned about him/her when he/she does drugs;
  • You are there to LISTEN to him/her;
  • You WANT him/her to be a part of the solution;
  • You tell him/her what you WILL do to help him/her.
  • Know that you will have this discussion many, many times. Talking to your kid about drugs and alcohol is not a one-time event
  • www.theantidrug.com

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     Drug Paraphernalia

    • Spoons - they will be discoloured and have a burnt look if they have been used for this purpose. This may be used for burning heroin.
    • Safety pins they will also be discoloured and have a burnt look. Safety pins can be used for burning cannabis
    • Tin foil this may have holes in and have a burnt appearance.
    • Crisp packets this will be used when inhaling solvents such as glue.
    • Pipes May be used for smoking cannabis
    • Plastic bottles with the bottom cut off this may be used for smoking cannabis, its called a ‘bong’
    • Mirror, razor/credit card and straw/rolled paper note- this may be used for cocaine.
    • Needles and syringes used for injecting intravenous drugs such Heroin.
    • Empty pen casings, straws, rolled up dollar bill
    • Cut lines on hand held mirrors.
    • Clear plastic bags - all sizes, all designs. Some tiny zip lock type of bags.
    • Scales may indicate drug dealing is going on.
    • Soda cans with hole punched in middle of it.
    • Disposable cigarette lighters from which part of the metal assembly has fallen off indicate that the lighter was lit for a long period of time, consistent with what happens when a crack cocaine smoker uses a lighter as a heat source.
    • Rolling papers
    • Room deodorizers, incense
    • Bent paper clips, tweezers
    • Glossy, non-porous magazine paper
    • Household products that are out of place - inhalants, including computer dust-off, cooking sprays, canned whipped cream, any propellants, correction fluid, disinfectants, markers, furniture polish and wax, oven cleaners, air fresheners, hair spray, nail polish remover, spray deorderants, butane, gasoline, glues and adhesives, paint, paint thinners.

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    ADVICE FROM PAT:

    Remember, when a kid is backed into a corner, he may have discovered that the best defense is an offense.


    • Don't
    allow him to turn the conversation around to where you become the defendant.
    • Don't allow him to try and make you fell guilty.
    • Don't allow his threats of leaving home and/or not loving you make you back down.
    • Don't be so naive as to believe everything your child tells you.
    • Don't see the little, sweet, innocent child you had just a couple of years ago, see the child in front of you clearly.

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    Signs of Drug Abuse

    Just because your child may have one or more of the following "symptoms" of drug abuse doesn't mean they are on drugs. These are red flags to look for. Use wisdom and don't over-worry and at the same time be honest with yourself and face the fact that indeed, this could happen to your child. No Christian or Christian family is immune from temptations.

    Irritable, very easy to provoke, seems tired, worn out and apathetic a lot of the time. May seem unhappy and depressed most of the time.
     

    Develops a nagging (hacking) cough, appears to have the sniffles or runny nose, or develops nosebleeds frequently.

    Needle marks on lower arm, leg or bottom of feet.

    Nausea, vomiting or excessive sweating.

    Irregular heartbeat.

    Change in style of clothing: Shirts with certain rock bands that are known to promote drug use. (Moms, check out the music they listen to. read the words. You may be in for a shock. If you are, throw them out. It is your house, you have every right, especially in the eyes of God. Remember Eli?) Baggy clothes with many pockets as well as oversized shoes are used to hide contraband. Check out pockets and shoes. Yes, you have a right to check them out. It is your house, your child, your rules. Stop being afraid of your child. Your child needs to have a respectful fear of you.

    Your child may seem apathetic, not focused, vague when carrying on a conversation. He/she could be coming down off a high, such as LSD or ecstacy which depletes serotonin in the brain. Personality and mood changes are common.

    Separation from family and more and more lack of concern about their family. Previous to drug use they enjoyed get-togethers and holidays spent with family, now they have other things to do and places to go during these times.

    Increase in borrowing money. Perhaps several times you find money is missing from your wallet or in your house, or finding objects missing that have been sold to support a drug habit.

    Secretiveness. Every teen has their secrets, but with drug abuse, you feel like you don't even know your child any more. There are too many secrets. Subtle changes in conversations with friends, e.g. more secretive, using “coded” language. Increased secrecy about possessions or activities.

    School problems: Grades drop, truancy, decreased interest, discipline problems, sleeping in class.

    Difficulty in paying attention; forgetfulness. General lack of motivation, energy, self-esteem, "I don't care" attitude.

    Sudden oversensitivity, temper tantrums, or resentful behavior. Moodiness, irritability, or nervousness. Silliness or giddiness. Paranoia.

    Car accidents.

    Chronic dishonesty.

    Withdrawal from hobbies, teams, family life.

    New friends. Friends who are having similar problems or who make poor decisions or who get in trouble. Friends who are not invited to your home, but rather who your child always meets or goes to their home.

    Child repeatedly comes home late or not at all; begins to spend the night frequently at friend's house. He may say he "forgot to call." They need to be disciplined early and consistently so they will be afraid to do this again.

    Changes in energy level, having unusual amounts of energy or increased fatigue. Inability to sleep, awake at unusual times, unusual laziness.

    Loss of appetite, increase in appetite, any changes in eating habits, unexplained weight loss or gain.

    Slowed or staggering walk; poor physical coordination.

    Red, watery eyes; pupils larger or smaller than usual; blank stare. You are finding bottles of Visine or eye drops in your teen's room, pockets or bookbag. Yes, check out bookbags. Breath mints or breath spray may be an indicator of alcohol consumption. Check out room. You say, "What about their privacy?!" I say, "What about their life?" Save them while you have the chance. If they're mad at you for a day, week or even a year, it is worth saving them and they will thank you later, when they mature.

    Cold, sweaty palms; shaking hands.

    Puffy face, blushing or paleness.

    Smell of substance on breath, body, or clothes.

    Extreme hyperactivity; excessive talkativeness.

    Smoking may be a sign of drug abuse. Teens who smoke are 3 times more likely to be abusing drugs than non-smoking teens. If you catch your kid smoking, be suspicious.

    Use of incense, room freshener, or perfume to hide smoke or chemical odors

    Your child may be doing excessive cleaning or have chemical odor on clothes or coming out of bedroom. Huffing or inhaling various household chemicals are very dangerous and can cause permanent brain damage as well as asthma-like conditions. Younger children may begin drug abuse with these materials as they can easily get them at home. Things to look for: If your child says they need "white-out" for a school project, be suspicious, as now-a-days this is rarely used. Check with their teacher first before you buy it for them. Markers in their pockets may be a sign of abuse or if your dry-erase markers keep going missing. Huffing aerosol cans, even whipped cream; Glade air-freshener is a favorite. Chronic congestion and bad headaches may throw suspicion if your child has other signs of huffing. Girls may use hairspray or nail polish. Rags and paper bags may be accessories.

    Cold medicines are being used by kids to get a high. If they eat an entire box (16 pills) of Corcidin (which has been pulled off the shelves) they will experience a high, complete with hallucinations. They may drink an entire bottle of cough syrup, with or without alcohol; Nyquil and Robotussin should be kept out of reach. Sucrets can also be crushed and boiled and used like Robotussin. If you find a lot of cold preparations being used by your child, be suspicious. Check their backpack, drawers, closet, any hiding place you can find in their room. Sure, you can. It's your house, your child, his/her soul and body that you have always protected.

    Evidence of drug paraphernalia. (see archives)

    Missing prescription drugs.

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    Drug Specific Symptoms:

    Marijuana: Glassy, red eyes; loud talking and inappropriate laughter followed by sleepiness; a sweet burnt scent; loss of interest, motivation; weight gain or loss.

    Alcohol: Clumsiness; difficulty walking; slurred speech; sleepiness; poor judgment; dilated pupils; possession of a false ID card.

    Depressants: (including barbiturates and tranquilizers) Seems drunk as if from alcohol but without the associated odor of alcohol; difficulty concentrating; clumsiness; poor judgment; slurred speech; sleepiness; and contracted pupils.

    Stimulants: Hyperactivity; euphoria; irritability; anxiety; excessive talking followed by depression or excessive sleeping at odd times; may go long periods of time without eating or sleeping; dilated pupils; weight loss; dry mouth and nose.

    Inhalants: (Glues, aerosols, and vapors ) Watery eyes; impaired vision, memory and thought; secretions from the nose or rashes around the nose and mouth; headaches and nausea; appearance of intoxication; drowsiness; poor muscle control; changes in appetite; anxiety; irritability; an unusual number of spray cans in the trash.

    Hallucinogens: Dilated pupils; bizarre and irrational behavior including paranoia, aggression, hallucinations; mood swings; detachment from people; absorption with self or other objects, slurred speech; confusion.

    Heroin: Needle marks; sleeping at unusual times; sweating; vomiting; coughing and sniffling; twitching; loss of appetite; contracted pupils; no response of pupils to light.

    Tobacco/Nicotine: Smell of tobacco; stained fingers or teeth.

    http://www.acde.org

    ---------

    Animation video of cocaine's affect on the brain – Easy to understand animation video demonstrating how cocaine affects the brain’s electrical impulses and increases the neurotransmitter dopamine which causes changes in behavior. (PBS.org)

    http://www.pbs.org/wnet/closetohome/animation/coca-anim-main.html

    Be Prepared!
    The last thing your child needs is ignorance.

    * Think
    * Keep your eyes open.
    * Don't be naive.
    * You are the authority, not your child.

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    One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets
    Of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the
    Roads are wet and slick.
    Suddenly, my daughter, Aspen,
    Spoke up from her relaxed position in her seat. 'Dad, I'm
    Thinking of something.'
    This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some
    Fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all
    That her six-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.
    'What are you thinking?' I asked.
    'The rain!' she began, 'is like sin, and the windshield
    Wipers are like God wiping our sins away.'
    After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond.
    'That's really good, Aspen.'
    Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take
    This revelation? So I asked... 'Do you notice how the rain
    Keeps on coming? What does that tell you?'
    Aspen didn't hesitate one moment with her answer:
    'We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us.'

    I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.

    unknown

    submitted by Donna Blythe

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    Being a Kid in the '50's & 60's

    • I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.
    • I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.
    • We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got spanked. I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.
    • I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.
    • We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got spanked. 
    • We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got spanked there and then we got spanked again when we got home. I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off.
    • His mother came over, picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.  -selected
          I've added to the list (Pat):
    • We went through neighbor's yards to get to our houses and no one cared because we knew better than to do damage to anyone's property.
    • I don't remembered being bored, but if I was and complained about it, I never was "rewarded" by expecting my parents to go out and buy a new game for me or drop everything they were doing to please me.
    • We always addressed adults with respect, never calling them by their first name; never speaking rudely to them.
    • We would never run through a person's house and touch their belongings without permission.
    • Only the worse kids at school would dare say a four letter word and never in the presence of an adult.
    • There were only 2 or 3 kids known for being troublemakers... maybe one per class, but most of these kids nowadays wouldn't be considered a problem at all.
    • Most kids went to church even if their parents didn't. It was unusual to hear someone was an atheist. 
    • It was unusual to know a kid with divorced parents.
    • Homosexuality? What was that?! (It exists, but wasn't dared talked about and we children had never heard of it.)
    • All my friends were afraid of being punished by their parents if they did something wrong or didn't try their best with their schoolwork.
    • I never had a friend that considered controlled spankings to be child abuse, neither did I. We knew our parents loved us and we recognized while we didn't want the spanking, we deserved it.




    http://ourhopeonline.com

    November 2017